Desiderate
by XX00Meg00XX
Summary: "In spite of her desire to see him, she knocks tentatively; a quiet, undemanding sound that gives nothing away of the need raging inside her." A post-ep for 7x21 (In Plane Sight).


**A post-ep for 7x21 (In Plane Sight).**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Castle or the characters used in this story.**

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_Huge thank you to Ally for the super quick, hilarious beta on this! (HUGS)_

_Please note the **M!** rating!_

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**Desiderate**

_**Desiderate- **__feel a keen desire for (something lacking or absent)_

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The world slips away as she watches the slow descent of the plane icon on the screen. It's almost there, so close to landing, so close to giving her the relief of knowing that her husband and step-daughter are safe on the ground. She wishes she could touch her finger to the screen and slide the plane onto the airport, wishes she had control.

Kate doesn't realize she's holding her breath until the computer dings, alerting her to the fact that the plane has safely landed and she sucks in a breath, blows it out with so much relief that her shoulders physically relax.

He's safe. They're safe.

* * *

She thinks it's enough to know, thinks she'll be fine as long as that knowledge permanently remains in the back of her mind, but one step into the loft and she knows it's not enough. She lifts a hand to her mouth when a sob threatens to slip past her lips, tries to keep it from getting free as if someone there will hear and judge her for it. It wasn't that long ago that she spent two months wondering if she'd get him home safely and no amount of time is going to completely heal the gaping hole that it left inside her.

Yeah, she has him back and she's his wife, but the memories are still there, the wounds are still fresh enough to pull and claw at her, reopening at the slightest chance that she might lose him.

She calls Gates on a whim, even as she pulls a suitcase from the top shelf of their closet and begins throwing clothes into it without second thought. She won't be able to stay the entire duration of his trip, but it'll be enough to see him, to spend one night in his arms, to be pressed against every inch of his body, surrounded by the feel of him.

"Detective Beckett?" Gates answers with a question in her voice, but something tells Kate that she already knows what's about to be asked of her.

"Captain Gates, I'm sorry to call you so late. It's just…Castle is…" She can't get the right words out, can't find a way to ask her captain of the thing she so desperately needs, luckily she doesn't have to.

"Kate, it's okay. Go. The boys can handle things until you get back. I wish I could spare you for the entire time, but I just can't."

Kate wants to jump through the phone and hug the woman, suddenly even more grateful for the way their work relationship has evolved into an almost friendship, or an understanding at least.

"Thank you, Sir," she says, hoping the captain knows just how deep that sentiment really runs.

"See you in a few days, Detective."

By the time she tosses the phone onto the bed, Kate already has her bag mostly packed and she hurries into the bathroom to pack her toiletries.

* * *

She catches the last flight out to London, manages to print her ticket in just enough time to make it to the airport as the final call for her flight is announced.

She tries to call Castle once she's on the plane but she only gets his voicemail, so she hangs up, opting to surprise him instead. Uneasy thoughts run through her mind as she glances at the passengers all around her, but she closes her eyes and wills them away, repeating to herself that she'll be in Castle's arms soon enough.

She sleeps most of the flight, which is probably a good thing considering the plans she has for Castle. Finally, the pilot announces that they're preparing to land and Kate can't get off the plane fast enough.

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She pulls up his hotel information just as she hails a cab, and then she's giving the driver the info before relaxing back into her seat.

Even as she walks hastily through the lobby of Castle's hotel her heart races, pounding against her chest, as if she's meeting a lover in a foreign city for the first time. It's an adrenaline rush as she steps into the elevator and presses the button for the fifth floor. Her skin tingles in anticipation, until goosebumps form over every inch of her lower body.

In spite of her desire to see him, she knocks tentatively; a quiet, undemanding sound that gives nothing away of the need raging inside her.

Castle swings the door open and his eyes widen instantly, complete shock written all over his face, and Kate sweeps her eyes hungrily over his body because he's clothed in only a pair of shorts. And Kate's suddenly thankful that Alexis has her own room because her mouth waters, and she knows that clothes aren't going to stay on either of them for long.

"Kate?" he questions, his mouth still hanging open at the sight of her.

She doesn't answer with her words; instead, she backs him into the room, kicks the door shut with her foot and drops her bag in the doorway in her haste to touch him. His back hits the far wall of the room with a thud and then her lips are on his. Her tongue invades his mouth with so much hunger, so much need, that his growl of approval swallows her needy whimper.

She lets him catch his breath for a brief moment, her hands roaming over the broad expanse of his exposed chest and he pants in her ear, manages enough coherency to find her waist and draw her up against his body.

"What are you doing here?" he husks, staring down at her hungry eyes, knowing his pupils darken with each second that he takes her in. "Not that I'm complaining, I just…I thought you couldn't take any time off," he corrects, backtracking so that she doesn't think he's unhappy to have her in his arms. It's quite the opposite actually.

"I had to see you," she pants, her eyes searching his as she confesses her need for him. "With everything that happened on your flight…the hours of not knowing if you were going to land safely or if I was going to be faced with the prospect of losing you, and all of that paired with the memory that I did lose you for two months…it was just too much. I took one step into the loft when I got home and I knew that seeing you was the only thing that would make me feel better."

Castle doesn't say anything, he just stares back at her, keeps her close even as he reads every line of worry and fear on her face. But she starts to get self-conscious, starts to retreat because she's being clingy and it's so unlike her.

"It's stupid, I know. I just needed a reminder that you're safe, that I didn't lose you again," she whispers, turning her head but sucking in a hiccupped breath when his hand slides beneath her jaw and turns her back to him.

"Not stupid," he murmurs, shaking his head even as his palm slides up and over her cheek, his thumb caressing the soft skin beneath her eye, prepared to catch any tears that threaten to fall. "Human. And completely understandable, Kate. After everything we've been through, everything I've put you through, I can hardly stand being away from you for any length of time. So, no, it's not stupid."

"I just need you," she says, dropping her hand from his chest to his shorts, her fingers slipping beneath the elastic at his waist to clue him in to just how much.

His own hands slide over her jeans before he pops the button, feathers his fingers over her as soon as he slips them inside. He's met with more than he expects and a knowing smirk flits over his face.

"I can tell," he teases, circling his finger over her and the fact that she's still covered by purple lace only heightens the feeling.

"Not like that. Well, yes, like that," she purrs, rocking her hips forward when he circles her again. "But not just in that way. I needed reassurance, confirmation that you're okay."

"Well, allow me to thoroughly reassure you," he husks, drawing his hand out of her jeans even as she chases his touch. But he doesn't leave her disappointed for long, shoving her jeans and panties down her long legs in one quick move before dropping to his knees to take her shoes off so that he can untangle the clothing from her legs.

When he lifts his head he gets the perfect view of her, glistening and ready for him, her inner thighs already painted with the evidence of how much she really does need him. He can't help but wonder if she's been walking around like that since he left her earlier in the day.

He can't resist leaning forward, pressing his nose against her pelvic bone as his tongue swipes hungrily through her folds. She moans, grips his hair in both hands to keep him there a little longer.

"Yes," she hisses, circles her hips when he flicks his tongue over her clit. He anchors her with his left hand on her hip, his right sliding up her thigh so that he can lift her leg over his shoulder, give him full access to her.

"Not gonna last, Babe," she tells him, a moan cutting off the last of her words when he slides a finger into her, pumps in time to the rhythm of his tongue.

"Oh god, Castle, oh god," she cries out, her leg trembling beneath her as he brings her to the edge and pushes her over. It's hard and fast, the orgasm blooming through her body, whiting out every inch of her until she collapses in his arms.

He carries her to the bed, lays her out over the soft mattress and has her shirt and bra off before she's fully recovered and able to open her eyes.

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She blinks lazily, takes in his form as his rises above her and then he's lowering himself, pressing his body against her as her legs fall open to welcome him. She realizes then that his shorts are also gone, and she moans her approval when his cock brushes against her sensitive core.

"How was that for reassurance?" he asks, smirking when she attempts an eye roll but forgets about it in favor of a gasp when he slides his tip over her clit.

"More," she gasps, wrapping her legs around his hips and using to leverage to try and push him into her. "Need more reassuring," she pants, the want for him clouding her ability to form real sentences.

He slides into her in one quick thrust, pausing when he's buried as far as he can go to give her a moment to adjust. Her inner muscles pulse around him, clenching and relaxing, as she adjusts to the welcome intrusion and it's like this every time. They've made love so many times that he's lost count, but every time feels like the first.

He knows when she's ready for more; the impatient circle of her hips and the needy whine falling from her mouth serve as all of the encouragement he needs. He lifts her left leg higher until her ankle rests on his shoulder, his admiration of her flexibility only increasing as he uses the leverage to change the angle and press into her a few more inches.

"Yes," she moans, letting her right knee fall against the bed, opening herself up more for him. "Oh, oh, don't stop," she begs, her chest heaving with each forceful thrust of his hips.

"Couldn't even if I wanted to, Babe," he promises, picking up his pace until he's pounding into her, racing them both towards the edge.

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"I'm so glad you're okay," she chokes out, her words causing his rhythm to falter.

He slowly lowers her leg from his shoulder, leans his body over hers until there's no space between them, until every inch of their glistening skin is kissing. He finds both of her hands, tangles his fingers with hers, and lifts them above her head.

"I'm okay, Kate. We're all okay. Never leaving you," he promises, closing the final distance between them so that his lips can paint even more promises against her own.

It's a slower pace now, a passionate rhythm, each slide in and out heightening the feeling of being joined. He can feel every ridge of her, every muscle that relaxes to let him in and then tightens to pull him back. It sends him closer to the edge, pleasure pulsing through every part of his body, but he holds on, prolongs the release that they're both ready to welcome.

"Don't make promises you can't keep," she breathes, fighting for air even as she heaves it in, her chest expanding against him with every slide of his body over hers.

"I'm keeping this one. I'm here. Right here with you, Babe. Always," he promises again, releasing her hands so that he can slide his arms under her shoulders, press her as close to him as he can and he swallows her cries with the press of his mouth, shares her tears as they both fall over the edge into the blissful sea of release.

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He holds her like that for what feels like hours, the rapid cooling of their skin not even enough to disturb the warmth they're wrapped in.

Their hearts beat together, entwining them even deeper in the love they share, in the life they've chosen together. And Kate never wants to leave this moment, never wants to untangle herself from his touch.

They're still joined when they fall asleep, not an inch of skin left untouched.

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It's early when Kate wakes, the light of morning barely peeking through the curtains. She sighs at the warm weight of her husband, shivers with something entirely unrelated to the chill of the room when she feels every inch of him pressed against her, pressed inside her.

That's how she wakes him, with the roll of her hips and her lips coasting across the bare skin of his shoulder.

He grins lazily at her when he lifts his head from where it's been intimately pressed against her chest, and then he places a few kisses to the side of her breast, a few more to her neck and jaw until he reaches her lips.

He drinks her in, a good morning kiss that puts all others to shame.

"How long can you stay?" he asks in between kisses, his touch stoking the embers of her arousal back to full flame in no time.

"Long enough for you to show me how well you played detective on the plane," she teases, but the way her eyes darken almost immediately completely gives her away. He knows it means she's incredibly turned on by the thought.

"Are you asking me to role-play with you?" he asks, glancing at the clock on the table and delighting in the fact that they have plenty of time to play before he has to get ready.

"Please," she requests, flashing him a smile that he can never deny.

"I'd like to ask you a few questions, Ms. Beckett," he starts,instantly falling into character, but fighting a chuckle when a needy shiver wracks her body.

He'll try to coax her into staying longer when they day nears an end, she won't be able to, but he'll send her home with enough memories and reassurances to hold her over until she picks him up at the airport.

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_Would love to hear your thoughts! xo_


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